


The Dead English Majors That Live in my Attic

by sunny_impalas



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blood, English Majors, Exorcisms, Ghosts, Scrabble, Supernatural Elements, Unnecessary amount of latin, but they're DEAD, written for school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 19:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16540601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunny_impalas/pseuds/sunny_impalas
Summary: Exactly what the title says.





	The Dead English Majors That Live in my Attic

Okay, I know that the title sounds a little weird, but hear me out. There are around two to three English Majors who are dead that live in my attic. They died from having a crumbing group nervous breakdown. Their hearts literally exploded. Like, how do you have a nervous breakdown from not being able to spell accommodate?! It’s not the end of the world…

I mean seriously what situation validates screeching like a possessed geko.

Anyways, I’m on the edge of spraying them with a powder of salt and iron while chanting in latin. So basically what I’m saying is I need either an exorcist or a therapist.

Maybe both.

The therapist will come later if the exorcist doesn’t work out. 

I called some guy I found on Craigslist and honestly, he didn’t sound like an axe-murderer, which is a good thing. His voice reminded me of my grandpa and of warm days on the beach. 

“‘Ello, James Duffy here, owner and founder of Duffy Exorcisms, you gotta ghost, we’ll get ‘em out.”

Geez, this guy had a really thick accent, it sounded French.

“Hi, yeah, I’m just calling to make an appointment. I have three dead english majors that are haunting my attic and keeping me up.”

“Oof, sounds bad. May I ask how they died?” James Duffy asked, pausing to let me answer.

“The guy who owned my house last said that they were his roomates and they all died from nervous breakdowns. Their hearts exploded.” I explained, getting slightly queasy just thinking about it. I don’t do well with blood.

James Duffy muttered something in French that I’m pretty sure was meant to be sympathetic and then he told me he would be at my house around 11:10 pm the next night. 

The Next Night

I stood by the door waiting anxiously for James Duffy to knock on the door. Once I heard the knock I opened the door and smiled.

“Hi there, you’re James right?”

“Salut! Yes! But please, call me Jim.” Jame-er-Jim said.

I nodded and waved him into my house, it was pretty barren with an old beat up couch in the living area and a box TV, seeing as I was a college student working at the local Apple store.

Jim was a round man, with a round belly and a bald, sweaty head that reflected the LED lights overhead in the hallway. He also had a bag filled with who knows what, he also smelt like sage.

“Well, show me where the spooksters are.” Jim ordered, but in a friendly way. Clapping his hands together and smiling.

I nodded and started walking up stairs towards the trap door that led to the attic. Once I got to the trap door I grabbed the handle and pulled it, letting the door fall open and the ladder to plop itself onto the floor. I looked back at Jim and he nodded. 

“It’s best you go in first. These are spirits that have been tormenting you, so you need to let them know that you are not afraid.” He explained, stepping back to give me some room.

I smiled and nodded, gathering my courage to walk up the ladder. The spirits may have been just dead english majors who freak out when they can’t figure out how to spell a word, but the other world and spirits and all that kind of freaks me out.

Once I walked into the room, my heart rate rose and it was strangely cold. 

“Hey, uh, is it normal for it to be so cold?” I asked Jim once he got up the ladder.

“Oh, yeah, that’s normal. Ghosts and spirits naturally emanate a chill. You know, like how when a person dies they feel like ice when you touch them.” Jim told me, pulling up his bag and pulling out a few candles, some sage, a lighter, a bottle of water, and salt.

I waited patiently while Jim placed everything down, he lit the candles and placed them in a circle.

“By the way, are you religious?” Jim asked, pulling out a chain with The Star of David, he placed it around his neck and said a quick prayer.

“Ah, no. Do I need to be?”

“No, it’s just that typically it helps that you have a talisman of some sort.”

“I have a lucky necklace that has a hematite stone.”

“Perfect! That stone is said to deter spirits.”

I quickly went to grab the necklace.

When I came back I saw that Jim was pouring salt on the sill of the one window that was in the attic.

“Wh-what are you doing?” I asked, staring at him like he was crazy.

“Spirits can’t pass salt lines, we don’t want them to leave the house and go somewhere else, we want to make them go to the spirit world.” Jim explained, caping the bottle of salt he had.

I nodded and went to sit at the circle of candles.

“Alright, now we just need to summon them,” Jim started, “that’s luckily the hard part.”

“Well, at least that’s the hardest part of this.” I laughed nervously, still worried about actually seeing the ghosts. I mean sure, they’ve been in here since before me, but it still scares me. Ghosts and all.

After Jim was done salting around the trap door he sat next to me. 

He pulled out a cross and whispered, “Sancti Nicolai de Tolentino, lux lumina. Christopher Sancti, lux lumina. Apud Yakesle quousque de serviendo IAO exercituum isto sacro spatio et in tutum facimus, quod sit negotiabimini cum mortuis honoratissimis. Nicolaus Sancti in dilecto Filio suo Toletino: Pasce agnos meos et ducibus ad hunc locum spirituum auxilio.” It sounded like Latin.

All of a sudden, the candles flickered and the forms of three twenty-year-olds appeared in front of us. The shortest was a girl who looked miserable, under her eyes there were dark eye bags and her shoulders were slumped. There were two guys standing to the side of her, both of them were in the same condition as her.

When they appeared the temperature dropped dramatically, I could see my breath it was so cold.

“Spirits, why are you still trapped in this mortal world?” Jim asked, his voice steady, but I could see he was sweating nervously.

They didn’t say anything, they just pointed to a dusty cardboard box in the corner. I didn’t notice it before.

“Are your spirits bound to the box?” He questioned.

The girl in the middle nodded, her eyes were a drab grey-blue, that were probably beautiful in life.

Jim went to grab the box, it was an old Scrabble box. I could see it was splattered with blood. I felt sick, that was their blood, wasn’t it?

Jim grabbed out the lighter and spoke again, “Regna terrae, cantata Deo, psallite Cernunnos, Regna terrae, cantata Dea psallite Aradia. Caeli Deus, Deus terrae, Humiliter majestati gloriae tuae supplicamus Ut ab omni infernalium spirituum potestate, Laqueo, and deceptione nequitia, Omnis fallaciae, libera nos, dominates.

“Exorcizamus you omnis immundus spiritus Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio, Infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, Omnis and congregatio secta diabolica. Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, dominates, Ut coven tuam secura tibi libertate servire facias, Te rogamus, audi nos! Ut inimicos sanctae circulae humiliare digneris, Te rogamus, audi nos! 

“Terribilis Deus Sanctuario suo, Cernunnos ipse truderit virtutem plebi Suae, Aradia ipse fortitudinem plebi Suae. Benedictus Deus, Gloria Patri, Benedictus Dea, Matri gloria!”

He then lit the box on fire, and we watched as the spirits left, seemingly evaporating and floating up into the atmosphere.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for school.


End file.
